Perhaps you’ve seen “Thy Father Is a Gorbellied Codpiece,” a little book that enables readers to create their own Shakespearean insults. Perhaps you’ve been insulted by someone who’s read that book and you’re then aware at how out of date those insults are. The world does need a good list of scathing, soul-bleaching, tear-inducing insults, and it is for that reason that Christophe the Insultor sat down after he’d imbibed a bottle of Chianti to compose such a list.
Here’s how it works: There are insult fragments in each of three lists. One list contains the word “You” followed by an adjective, such as “incontinent.” The second list usually contains an imperfect participle (smart people, help the dumb people), and the third list a noun or noun phrase. Any item from any one of the lists is then combined with any item from the other two lists at random.
Because such power should not be wielded by just anyone, Christophe the Insultor is not going to publish this list. Instead, offered on this site, is the Insult Generator. Every time you visit the Christophe the Insultor website, a new insult will be generated for you at random.