Christophe the Insultor is the alter-ego of Christopher Buehlman, a playwright, comedian, actor and poet based in St. Petersburg, Florida.
Buehlman was born in Tampa in 1969 and grew up in St. Pete, where he spent his formative years addicted to video games, pizza, Mad Magazine and British comedy.
Now he travels around the country talking smack to people and drinking beer. That’s his job.
His home in St. Petersburg has a pool that is usually gatorade-green and a kitchen whose aroma suggests a reckless fearlessness of garlic.
The patio and rock garden at the Florida house were once swarming with small lizards called ‘American anoles,’ and Buehlman considered himself their friend and protector until he betrayed them by acquiring a small, one-eyed dog who immediately went on a pogrom.
Buehlman’s hobbies include attending theater, primitive archery, martial arts, cooking, breaking up with his woman, getting back together with his woman, thick red wine, chess, Axis and Allies, expensive shoes, swearing red-faced at the television during news broadcasts, and trying to hug the Amish. Sometimes he has to chase them a little.
He speaks decent Spanish and better French, and would happily pick up Arabic if they would just get a legible alphabet. He is bored sick by all sports except UFC.
Christopher Buehlman is the author of one novel, numerous short plays, a large body of poetry, and a one-man show about Christopher Marlowe.